To An Anxious Freshman

Writer: Alexandria Morgan

Congratulations, you've finally made it to the most important day of your life, the first day of your freshman year of college. You now have “freedom”, a new environment and the chance to meet the people who will become lifelong friends and later on in life be the God-parents to your children. Sadly, this year, move-in looks a little different for college freshmen. Instead of coordinating room color ideas with your roommate and planning outfits for freshman week, you're sitting inside of your room/house wondering when things will return back to normal. Unfortunately, we don’t know when things will return back to normal and the first-year experience for many freshmen will be anything but ordinary. As a junior, I can’t fully fathom the disappointment that millions, maybe even billions of freshmen are enduring, but I can assure you that a safe semester indoors can’t be worse than the life-threatening ailment we call COVID. You see, my freshman year was anything but ordinary either; except, instead of a worldwide pandemic, I encountered a near-death situation.

I was diagnosed with cancer, stage four Hodgkin’s Lymphoma to be exact. For some, being diagnosed at the age of 18 with cancer may be daunting, but for me, cancer was the least of my worries. I finally had freedom, I was on my own, where I could have a clean slate and have the fun I always wanted. My cancer wasn’t debilitating, but I acted as if it was. It was almost as if I was the reason for my cancer. I chose to ignore my diagnosis at first and pretend as if it didn’t exist, but I knew chemo treatments, no hair, and nausea were a part of my future and that was something that couldn’t be ignored. Unfortunately, during homecoming, having a roommate and my first underage drinking experience was more of a dream than a reality. I was isolated in a single room to avoid catching a cold because my white blood cells were low and I felt depressed and anxiety-ridden. I found everything wrong instead of focusing on the good in my life. As a first-generation college student attending Howard University, receiving an education of a lifetime was something I couldn't pass up on, alongside the unforgettable memories that come with it.

While I didn’t have the typical freshman experience, it taught me a lot of things about myself and the world around me. While I could tell you about the dangers of drinking, walking alone back to your dorm in the dark, and making sure that you don’t sleep through your 8 am class, this lesson is more pertinent. One thing, not everything goes your way; one pill I’m still learning to swallow. Another thing, you are your own worst critic, so while everything right now is chaotic and uncertain, remember that you have family and friends to depend on. While your chapter still remains closed this semester, remember that you have seven more chapters to write in your book! That’s seven more chapters that you can write and edit in your college lifetime!

Carpe Diem!